Duck, Duck Gosselin!

Okay, I was going to write about how a good chunk of the country has lost its mind because there is a black man occupying the White House. I mean, objecting to the president addressing schoolchildren? Had the previous Oval Office occupant opted to speak about staying in school (and striving to achieve a "C" average), anyone who voiced opposition would have been accused of the worst type of treason.

But that's not what I'm currently musing. I have something far more significant: Jon Gosselin has spoken to ABC News about the very public dissolution of his marriage.

I used to watch "Jon & Kate" all the time, frequently repeating "thank God that's not me" as I watched Jon and Kate try to dress or feed six toddlers. I've got two kids 13 months apart and I barely have a recollection of their first and second years. In fact the stress of having two babies sent me running for the nearest pharmeceuticals. To have SIX? And two in front of them? I'm not sure if lobotomies are performed anymore, but I would have looked into it.

What I found compelling about Jon and Kate was watching this ordinary young couple trying to grapple with this overwhelming job of parenting and providing financially for eight young children. I was very impressed with how well they were doing (especially since they were, for a while, followed by TLC's own version of "Supernanny". The Gosselin children are fairly well behaved, certainly by comparison to families who need the supervision of a stern British nanny.)

But then the Gosselins moved to a bigger house. And Kate started highlighting her hair. You can understand why they'd need extra space. (The shoes alone require their own closet.) Next the corporate sponsors started with the product placement. Ever notice all the Gap clothes on those kids? I can count on one hand the number of Gap items my kids have owned. My girls and their little preschool buddies all wear Target togs. (Last winter there were several little girls with exactly the same jacket, making it extremely difficult to pick my own out from the crowd. I think I took home the wrong kids a couple of times.)

Then the money started pouring in, and the Gosselins moved to the country estate. And Kate got that strange "I can't decide whether to go long or short so I'll do both" hairstyle. Suddenly, all the people who used to help them out with the kids had disappeared (aunt Jodi and uncle Kevin, that lady the kids called "nana" -- where'd they go?)

The Gosselins began to lose their hold on me becaus they were no longer the average young couple trying to raise a really large family. They were celebrities who could afford nannies and cleaning people and help. It was far more fun watching their kids pick out their siblings' Christmas gifts at Toys R Us than watching them get thousands of dollars worth of custom-made playhouses.

But I digress slightly. The gist of Jon's interview was that he claims Kate abused him and he "despises" her.

I read a few comments on a couple of Web sites. They're mainly from women who inexplicably take Kate's side in this train-wreck of a divorce, perhaps from some twisted sense of sisterhood and solidarity. Frankly, you only have to have watched the show to see how miserably Kate treated Jon, who was perhaps the most passive man with a pulse ever to appear on TV.

In fact, I think that Jon may have sat down to watch a few back episodes and the self-disgust helped him grow back the balls Kate had lopped off. Kate's such an unbearable control freak that if I were Jon, I'd have killed myself -- but more likely Kate -- long before we ever got to the point of having sextuplets.

But instead, this once oddly endearing couple now stare back at me from tabloids as I wait to pay for my groceries. They've begun a seemingly unending public war of words, where someday thier children will be able to read all the self-serving and hurtful things we've said about each other.

Once more I see the Gosselins and think "Thank God that's not me."